Goodbye, Grandpa

As most of you already know, my grandpa died early Monday morning. I went into work last night and there was a page in Roll Call that where my company expressed their condolences for my loss. Seeing his name in the same sentence as the word "death" was so surreal to me. It felt like I was reading someone else's thing about their grandpa.

My grandpa was the epitome of what a Grandfather should be. I'm sad that he's gone, but I feel as though my time with him was more than I could have ever asked for. Whenever I had a problem with anything in my life, I'd swing by his house, sit next to him while he sat in his recliner and we both talked and talked. He had a way of saying things that might not have made sense right then, but after a while a light goes on and you think, "Oh that's what he meant!" and it all made sense. My grandpa loved me for all my accomplishments and my flaws. He accepted me as a hard-headed youngster with a strong will. He accepted me as the independent teenager with liberal views and and an even more liberal appearance. And he accepted me into adulthood as I made my way through life jumping over hurdles and figuring out parenthood and marriage.

I never felt like he judged me and I never once felt like I wasn't the most precious person in the world to him. I hope he knows that I felt that same exact way about him. I loved working with him in his shed, doing yard work, reminiscing about my years as a kid, beeping at him as he was tinkering around in his garage and I was driving down Newburgh Rd.

After my grandparents moved from Detroit to Livonia, it became my job to cut their grass. This was something I did for them close to two to three times a week(yea, I know... my grandma was anal about it!) and each time I cut the grass my grandpa gave me $20. One summer he offered me a proposal. He suggested that instead of paying me every time I cut the grass he would keep track of my earnings and pay me one lump sum at the end of the summer. I agreed and when summer ended he handed me a check that was for far more than a summer of grass cuttings was worth. He told me to do something nice for myself, so that fall I used the money to go to New York City. Upon my return my grandpa told me that a wall was being erected on Ellis Island and that my Great Grandparents names were going to be on it. He told me that I would need to go back and see it. Once the wall was up he'd ask me "Have you been to the wall yet?" "No Grandpa, I haven't been yet." Then he'd tell me a story about how one of his siblings had gone to see it. I promised him my next visit to NYC I would go and take a picture of it for him. It wasn’t until last summer that I was able to go again and I went to Ellis Island and found the his last name on the Wall of Honor and took a picture for him. I am glad I had a chance to do that before he died. It was something important to him for me to see.

My grandpa was such an incredible person. I can't express how lucky I feel to have had him in my life. I hope the memories of him never fade. I hope his distinct voice always plays out in my mind. I hope he comes to visit me again... only this time, don't freak me out Grandpa!!!

I'll always be your Bug!

.....

Sometimes lately I have just wanted to be quiet. The Marbles have been in Michigan so it's been easy for me to wander around the house in silence. I thoroughly enjoy the quiet and any chance I get I have the TV off and I am just sitting around thinking.

These last few weeks have come with a surge of memories. I didn't think a person was capable of remembering so much, but i've dug deep into my brain to allow so many memories to surface. Both my close friends have been on vacations so I haven't been able to talk to them about anything so TGIM has gotten the brunt of my laughter and my tears. It's ok that he has no idea what to say as I cry and wipe the tears away. But, he listens and that's all I can ask for.

The next coming weeks are going to get even harder. I am going to be enduring something for the first time in my life that I have never had to go through...ever. Something that when other people have gone through it I would selfishly think, "I'm glad it's not me." Well, my time has come and I hope my legs hold me up so I don't collapse with grief.

Hang In There Grandpa!

Not Martha Stewart

Excuse me while i dust off my knees and scrape the dirt from my fingernails... I have been away for a while because I heard the *in* thing to do was be outside pulling weeds... oh wait, that's just Wobega and August that do that...What I thought was my "Green Thumb" was really Gangrene and my thumb subsequently fell off. Which it's really no loss to me because the last thing one would ever find me doing is outside pulling weeds. The extent of my weed pulling is if I am walking to the mailbox and I happen to see one peeking up from the cracks in the side walk, I will bend over and pull it out and then just leave it on the driveway.

I don't know when it exactly started that I didn't like any sort of outdoorsy type of activity. Last weekend TGIM and I took the Marbles out on a boat to go fishing and the entire time leading up to that day I prayed for a hurricane so I didn't have to endure the boating/fishing experience. I don't enjoy being in the sun... sweating... getting a sunburn...while being bitten by mosquito's because TGIM thinks the only way to catch a fish is to pull the boat right into the mangrove trees where apparently every mosquito in the world lives. Seriously, who goes boating and ends up with mosquito bites????

I am not one for camping, hiking, bike riding, swimming or any activity that places me at one with nature. If I would walk from my house to my van in an air conditioned bubble I would because I hate sweating that much.

This lady I work with tells about how she spends her days off in her garden. This garden is like the pride and joy of her life. I don't get it. I hate having dirt on my hands and on the bottom of my feet. I hate bugs and the weird insects that live in dirt that appear when you get a weed by the roots. I am scowling just thinking about the idea of having to actually go outside and kneel on the grass and grab for a leafy thingamajig and yank it from the earth. Why not just leave it and call it a flower?

Be Thankful You're Employed???

Seconds after the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup, I called Wobega and asked her to send me down the newspapers for that next day. The Detroit News and Free Press arrived days later and I was nostalgic reading about my favorite team and reminiscing about the years past when I was in Detroit to share the excitement of the Stanly Cup wins.

After flipping through all the articles, I scanned the rest of the paper. I thought, "Why not check the classifieds? Perhaps there is some awesome paying job for TGIM that would pay our relocation and bring us back to Detroit with promises of high income and excellent insurance." What I found was disturbing. The Help Wanted section contained EIGHT ads for work and three were like those Work From Home thingies! So, five local businesses seeking someone to employ!!! I wasn't quite sure if this was indicative of the economy in Michigan or if it was just the paper that I received that just didn't print a lot of ads that day. Assuming it's the economy, I started thinking how the best thing for us to do was to move away and try to rebuild ourselves financially than tough it out in Michigan.

But, Florida's economy isn't any better. My place of employment gave annual raises every year at no less than an 8% increase on your current salary. Additionally, they would give a Cost of Living allowance as well. The other day we all got letters from the Boss Man saying those raises wouldn't happen this year as money is tight and it's not in the budget. It was emphasized that we need to feel fortunate that we are employed as unemployment is at it's all time high in my county this year. It was also noted that because we are not getting the pay increases we are going to be able to keep our health benefits the way they are which is FREE. I don't pay a dime out of my paycheck for my health insurance for me or my family.

Some people at my work seemed put off by this letter, but I understood where the Boss was coming from. I am grateful that I have a job and excellent benefits because for many, many years... too many years... our family was without health care! It's a scary thought to be on unemployment and have no health insurance when you have small children.

While many people in the country are struggling to put gas in their cars and food on their table, I guess I can't complain that I am not getting a raise as the paycheck I get now will do just fine for another year or so! (I hope!)

Is Your Mom Going to Be There?

Today was my Marbles last day of school. I have made it a point since they have began school to be as involved in their school lives as possible. I volunteer for every field trip, class party or activity they have going on. And in the rare instance that I can't be there, the guilt is overwhelming.

Because of my presence in my Marbles classrooms, their classmates all know me fairly well. (Although this year Pink Marbles class had their hands full trying to figure out if I was Pink Marbles mom or her BFF's mom since our resemblance is uncanny!) The children love to run up to me and smother me with affection and I love them right back. I am so popular with the kids I was even asked to sign yearbooks... but, i'm just sayin'!!

Anyway, this morning while in Blue Marbles classroom I was startled by the shrieks of a little boy in her class who reminds me of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. Mischievous, but playful and always excited about something! He runs up to me and says, "Miss Bitchet Miss Bitchet guess who's coming to my Awards Ceremony today???"
I could tell he was ecstatic. "I don't know," I told him. "Who?"
"My mom. My REEEAL MOM. Not my Aunt, not my grandma, but my REAL mom." This kid was over the moon that his *real* mom was coming to the awards. I don't know his situation but the fact that he was that excited about it made me think that perhaps he didn't see her often and that her presence was always substituted by some other female in his life. So, the fact that she was going to be there, in person, was even more awesome than the last day of school.

Well, the awards ceremony came and I could see him scanning the crowd for his *real* mom. His eyes were wide as quarters checking every row for a sign of her. Then when his name was called to receive his award he walked across the stage, beaming, trying to make eye contact with her. He was so preoccupied with locating her, that he ran right into the side of the podium. And when the ceremony was over we went back to the classroom for a party and the little boy was sitting at his desk defeated. As all the other parents gathered around their respective children, he sat bewildered. You could tell he was thinking, "She couldn't have let me down this time. It was the Awards Ceremony." But, apparently, she didn't show up. I felt so bad for him. I went up to his desk and knelt down beside him and told him how proud I was of him for the award he got and how much I enjoyed seeing him in class all the times that I was there. I also mentioned to him how happy I was that I was there to see him get his award.

It probably didn't do anything for him, and maybe there was a legit reason for her absence, but I doubt it because he was way too excited she was going to be there. And it made me realize that these little doo hickies your kids might have at school may seem unimportant to you, but to the kids it means everything and I thank god that I am able to participate the way I am. Even if it means I work 6 at night until 6 in the morning, come home, change and rush off to the school so I can chaperon Pink Marbles bowling field trip, see Yellow Marble graduate from Pre-K and be there to see Blue Marble accept her award for Biggest Animal Lover. I'd do it a million times over on no sleep just to see their eyes light up when they see my face in the crowd!!!

You Know the Economy is Bad When....

***You fill up your gas tank and TGIM tells you he's buying you a gas cap that locks so no one syphons my gas.

***Your work has to create a new code for "Purse Snatching" because they have become so prevalent.

***Spirit Airlines now makes you pay for your seat assignment. And a middle seat costs $5!!

***Even celebrities with millions of dollars are declaring bankruptcy

Bitchet's Annoyed Again

Is it just because I'd rather be somewhere other than Florida that I have been noticing that things just aren't what they appear to be? Take away the sunshine and you have a pretty f'ed up place. I don't think it's all in my head... but sometimes I wonder.

Here's what's going on:

a) Sex allegations at my Marbles school has caused parents to start protesting at dismissal and the media is loving it!!! A very trusted teacher at the school whom I adore advised me I shouldn't be alarmed. But, I am alarmed because I saw the police report online and the teacher is still teaching middle school. I have a tour of another school in the area, but I worry that I might be jumping the gun since I don't have all the facts.

b) Staying with the school issues, the schools around here suck. Miss Internet told me about this when we first moved down here. Even the private schools suck and I know if i homeschooled that school would suck too! LOL.

c) No one seems to give a shit that the grass is dry and brown and they continue to throw lit cigarettes out their car windows on the grass causing devastating fires. If my house burns down because Chester the Molester across the street feels the need to smoke and cut his grass and then flick his lit cigarette onto our lawn I will be forced to summon the big bad wolf and have him huff and puff and blow his house down.

d) It's the rainy season which means hurricanes. Which also means my hair is frizzy, it's fucking humid by 7am and I sweat so bad that I have to use deodorant under my boobs so they don't sweat!!!

e) Or maybe i'm just annoyed today because the Red Wings lost in triple overtime last night meaning I have to watch the next game at work and it's a pain in the ass to cheer for your team when you're speaking in ten codes the whole time!!!

Totally Random Blog Post

**In my bathroom we have a "water closet". Do you know what a "water closet" is? In case you don't it's basically a room, within a bathroom, that contains the toilet. So basically, when we have to go potty we use a separate room which if i stand with my arms outstretched sideways, is about that long and maybe two feet wide. So it's this relatively small room. Anyway, my point is, that when you're in this confined space and you're taking a shit you pretty much stink yourself out of the place....

**I went on a field trip today with Blue Marbles class and none of the other chaperone's on the trip talked to me. Now, perhaps it's because the median age for a mother of a child in Blue Marbles first grade class is roughly 36. And, because i'm so youthful-looking, I am constantly being mistaken for 21 24 28, I sometimes think they don't talk to me because they think I can't relate to them. Or it could be that while we were supposed to be watching the boring movie in the Planetarium about Rusty Rockets Last Trip to the moon, I was making faces at the boys in front of me causing them to giggle which inevitably got me scolded by Blue Marble.

Speaking of Blue Marble...
**Yesterday Blue Marble told me that when I came into her class today I wasn't allowed to wear my pajama's and I needed to make sure I did my hair and had on regular clothes before coming into the school. Apparently I embarrass her when I walk them into school some days in running pants with white paint stains on them and one of TGIM's t-shirt. So, just to be the crazy mom that I am, as i was getting ready today I came out into the family room in my bra and "butt crack underwear" and told her i was walking her into school like that. She laughed....then i put my shorts on and said I was going into school like that. Blue Marble rolled her eyes. Then I put on a white tank top over my black bra with my black shorts and said to Blue Marble, "This looks ok, right?" She freaked out and was like, "I see your bra's through that SHIRT!" And the brilliant Pink Marble chimes in, "That would look fine if you just wore a white bra with it." Thanks Vera Wang!!
My Marble must find me pretty embarrassing!!! We all remember this note that Pink Marble gave me before her birthday party, right?

Clever Exhusbands

A call came in from a woman indicating that there was a rolled up newspaper left in her mailbox and the ends had been burned. At first, we weren't too sure exactly what the crime could be. Perhaps, that someone went into her mailbox and left the paper because you're not supposed to open someones mailbox and tamper with its contents???
The woman proceeded to tell us that when she unrolled the newspaper she found it to be the classified section and she immediately knew who the culprit was. Apparently, she's recently divorced and her ex now has to pay alimony and he's upset about this so he left the newspaper classified section in her mailbox to hint around for her to get a job!!!
I was cracking up. And one of the hardest thing about my job is having to dispatch a call like the one above in a totally monotone, professional voice with no inflections and no variations. Because, according to the FCC and our SOP, we have to have the utmost professionalism when we go across the radio.
It's funny listening to the other dispatchers when they have to put out calls too. Last night we had to dispatch a call about some nudist in the area and no one was quite sure if you were allowed to say "nudist" over the radio!
It's always great, though, when you slip up. The other night I went to call out a deputy and I mistakenly said the wrong ID for him so instead of saying "Correction" like you're supposed to say I said, "Oops I mean...." which is funny but you're not supposed to say things like that.

I do miss getting all the crazy 911 calls, but this new position has its perks. The only downside is the fact that my ears feel like they're going bleed by the end of the night!!